The Three Gifts


The Three Gifts – three practices you can give to the world every day. 
Though useful anytime, this practice is mainly meant to be applied when engaged with others. These qualities are contagious and bring out the best in ourselves and others.

1) Calmness
your gift of spaciousness, clarity, sense of harmony and contentment. Your patience, tolerance, and ease. Being cool-headed and rational minded.

How do we become calmer?
Simply wishing to be calmer is a start. By slowing down, and focusing on the breath, being mindful and aware, being in the moment, content and aware of others needs. The practices of mediation, mindfulness, yoga and Tia-Chi are excellent methods for making us calmer.

2) Caring
your gift of a caring attitude towards others. Your warmth, kindness, compassion, altruistic intention and sense of responsibility and concerned toward others. Being considerate, generous, openhearted and helpful.

How do we become more caring towards others?
By seeing others as people like ourselves and recognizing our shared humanity. Becoming less selfish and putting other’s needs before our own. Understanding the problems that come from self cherishing and the benefits in caring about others.

3) Stability
your gift of stability (mental, emotional and in relation to others).
Your balance, strength, consistency, dependability and maturity. Being durable, tough, self controlled and fair. Being a stable friend and parent while helping to create stability in others.

One of the qualities obtained through Buddhist practice is becoming a more stable person. When meeting genuine spiritual masters, I think their quality of stability is the most magnetizing to us. This sense of stability they radiate, reaches out and creates a feeling of calmness and peace in us. Giving us a feeling of hope and confidence that our own spiritual goals are achievable.

Stability might be the commodity we desire the most, but don’t know it.
From marriage to employment, weather to health, from our most basic needs, to our evening’s entertainment, there is not an aspect of our lives that we wouldn’t wish to be more stable. We want every apple to taste as sweet, every movie to be as funny and every holiday to be as pleasant. But stability is a quality that most of us rarely try to develop. When we talk about the quality of our daily lives, stability often just sounds idealistic. But stability is, at the very heart of our most basic desires and fears.

How do we become more stabile?
Again, just being aware of and recognize that stability is a quality worth cultivating is enough to get started. Understand its benefits to ourselves and others. Self-confidence is a key part, to stop doubting and start believing in ourselves and the power of our influence on others. How we take in information and how we react to events and things said to us, are also vital components to stability.

  • Developing the first two gifts (calmness and caring) is a foundation for building stability.
  • Taking in information with a cool and rational mind
  • Taking a minute before reacting, is a useful tool in becoming more stable.
  • Watching language, like watching a river. People’s thoughts and language flow out like a river. Distinguish what is important and what is not, let most of it pass by, especially any offensive speech, pay no attention to it, and wait for something meaningful to be said.

When combined, these three gifts of calmness, caring and stability create qualities of Grace, decency, and elegance. Making us more magnetizing to others and appearing more attractive both physically and in persona. These qualities enrich others while bringing out the best in us all.